Fade Out
by elesi
Summary: When he woke up, they told him she's gone.
1. Fade

When he woke up, they told him she's gone. That was it. There wasn't a nicer way to put it.

On his hospital bed, he lay thinking how just a couple of days ago, on a mission, he had shielded her from some poisoned needles, his body receiving the lethal hits that were aimed at her, saving her, once more keeping his promise of protecting her.

Just a couple of days ago, he saw the fear and distress in her eyes as she saw him falter and stagger to the ground. And he felt her catch him, clutch him, hold him as tightly as she ever did. And he heard her cry his name as his vision darkened, heard her telling him to stay awake, heard her begging him to stay alive.

"Stay alive for me, Kakashi. Please..."

And then everything faded to nothingness.

And then he wakes up and they tell him she's...

He ought to tell them that he fought his way back; that it wasn't a miracle that saved him from whatever deadly poison that got into his body - it was her plea. It was the last thing she asked of him. And they cannot just tell him she's gone because it's her he came back for.

He thought he should be screaming at them for letting her go without him. He could've kept her safe. He thought he should be crying or crashing the room or banging his head on the wall. Something. Anything. But his chest, and whatever was in it, just felt so heavy. Too heavy for anything.

He had failed Obito. And it was more than that. For he knew, had realized all along, that he wasn't protecting her just for the sake of the promise he made to his friend. He felt the same way Obito felt for her. He had also failed himself.

***

There was a note that he kept. An invitation he never paid any attention to before. He felt there wasn't any reason he should. Not until now. Now that they're all gone.

***

In front of the memorial stone, a lone figure stood. He's nothing but a codename. There was a fresh tattoo on his left arm. His hair was hidden by the hood of the cloak that covered his whole frame. His already masked face was hidden beneath yet another mask - a porcelain one, white and red.

He hoped that the mask and the cloak could conceal the grief for everyone he loved. For everyone he lost.

In a blink of an eye, the lone figure disappeared. Off he went to obscurity.


	2. Dark

Unfinished

Dark was the night. There was no moon and even if it had been up in the sky, it's light - blocked by the canopy of leaves - didn't have a chance of reaching the forest floor. Black were the trees: trunk, branches and leaves. Black were the vines that hung down and the creepers that ever so slowly spread their way up. Dark was the night like an endless shadow.

Dark was the night and far from quiet. No breeze blew and yet once in a while there would be a rustling of leaves: the sound of predator hunting and prey fleeing. There were screeches and chirps, hisses and hoots, growls and howls, and much much more. The sounds never ceased even in the depth of night.

Somewhere in the dark, a voice softly called out. "Kakashi." Faint and quavering it was, as if the act of speaking was too much of a strain. Another voice responded to the name. "Hush, Rin," it said. This other voice sounded steady, belying any hints of exhaustion and pain. Cradling Rin close to him, Kakashi felt worried yet helpless. "Save your strength," he whispered to her ear.

It felt like things had happened so quickly. He vaguely remembers an ambush and both of them had narrowly escaped and got separated from other members of their squad. Both of them were gravely injured so they sought a hiding place. And so, within a hollow upon the trunk of one of the giant trees within that forest, they found temporary refuge.

Dark was the night but darker it was within that little sanctuary they found. Like frightened kids they held on to each other but they were not afraid of the gloom. They knew that darkness provided them safety; at that time, darkness was their friend.

Kakashi was aware of Rin's uneven breathing. Her skin felt cold and clammy. Shock was setting in. Even for him, it was becoming difficult to think straight. "Stay with me Rin, we'll get out of here somehow," he reassured her.

" 'Kashi," she called to him again. Her voice seemed a little more steady. "You know, I had this... this... wish."  
"Please, Rin," Kakashi said in hushed tones. "Let's rest." But Rin didn't seem to be listening. "I wanted you to die before I did. Yeah, it's stupid. And.. and mean. Do you know why I wish that?" He bent closer to her. He held her tighter. It was becoming very difficult to stay awake. He shook his head. He tried to shush her. But she didn't seem to hear. "If you die before me, 'Kashi, you know that you'll die loved."

It was becoming painful to stay awake. The darkness sheltered them and yet it also wanted to swallow them. He heard her apologize about something, about a wish that will not come true. But his mind was getting too muddled to understand anything. He wondered why it was so dark. He can't seem to see anything with his right eye. Kakashi opened his left eye: the sharingan. He saw Rin in his arms. Her chakra was like a light in the dark but it was very faint. And then, like the setting of the sun or the waning of the moon, slow and unstoppable, it faded. And it was dark again. 


	3. Storm

It was the only dead tree in those parts. It stood on top of what is now known as Hokage Mountain but it's been there way before the faces were carved on the mountain's stone, way before Konohagakure no Sato was built upon the mountain's foot. The tree's dry and leafless boughs still spread out from it's solid trunk. But slowly, little by little, the once mighty tree was crumbling down. Towering like it's other companions, it was still grand and beautiful even in death.

The tree's death started several years ago, on a stormy day, not that long in the reckoning of trees. See, unlike other living things, a tree does not die instantly. It dies leaf by leaf, root by root, ever so slowly. A tree this old had gone through thousands of stormy days. It was the same story everytime: dark skies, strong winds, rain that seemed to never end, thunder, lightning.

On that particular stormy day, if one will look closely, upon the top of this towering tree that stood on top of Hokage Mountain was a young man, just a boy really. He watched the storm with mismatched eyes: one was of the color red, a sharingan, a gift from a friend; and the other, the color of steel, his own. On the topmost branch he stood steadily, rocking only as the boughs swayed with the wind. Unprotected though he was, he did not think of the rain or the wind, did not cower at every deafening clap of thunder. Lightning fascinated him. Lightning, quick and deadly, like an assasin. Lightning, cruel and beautiful at the same time. Whatever it struck just happened to be unlucky.

The clouds roiled and so did this young man's emotions. Wrath. A word that seethed. A word that snarled. Grief. A feeling that can drain the joy out of anything. Guilt. So short a word but the meaning could be lost in the great burden it carried.  
All these emotions. They weren't a good combination.

They say the sharingan is the eye of wrath. Maybe it's true but not in the case of this young man. If there was anger in him, it showed in his own eye, the steel-colored one, the same color as the kunai he used in battle. There was anger borne out of guilt and grief so deep he can drown in it.

As he beheld the dark turbulent sky, as rain poured down on him, as the wind tried to sweep him away, something seemed to ignite in him. He let out a roar, barely audible in the rumbling of the storm. Raging, grieving and remorseful, he let loose his own lightning down the tree's core.

Kakashi still looked forward to thunderstorms. On his favorite spot, the topmost branch of a big dead tree standing on top of Hokage mountain, he would stand leaning against the still solid trunk, his arms crossed against his chest, his raincoat flapping with the wind, watching as lightning struck, jagged white lines jumping from cloud to cloud or connecting the sky and the ground.

The sky churned and churned. This, he thought, will be quite a show.

***

***

^_^ Thanks for reading. 


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